voldemort meets dr. evil
by BellaItaliana
Summary: i think the title basically explains it all. pg for some mild swearing. and please try and remember this the first fic i ever wrote!


Disclaimer: I own none of these people.   
  
"Voldemort meets Dr. Evil"  
  
Wormtail holds an emergency meeting for Voldemort.   
  
Voldemort: An emergency has occured.  
Death Eater: (under breath) What Harry Potter again?  
Voldemort: Shut up you! Avada Kedavra (a/n am i spelling this right?)   
Death eater dies.  
  
Voldemort: That will teach you to make fun of Lord Voldemort! Anyway, Mr. Teddy (hold up teddy bear) has brought it up to my attention that I have a rival eveil genius.  
  
Death eaters: Who? Who?  
  
Voldemort: OK you're not owls... Shut up and listen. Its *dramatic music* DR. EVIL!!  
  
Death Eaters gasp  
  
Death Eater: Um... one question.. Who is Dr. Evil?  
  
Voldemort: *sighs impatiently* I already told you! An evil genius! Derf!  
*hits death eater in the beack of the head with his wand*  
  
Death Eater burts out crying   
Death Eater: That really hurt you know!! Mom always said I shouldn't be a death eater!  
  
Voldemort: Oh shut up! *turns death eater into a cute kitten*  
*Voldemort screams & jumps into Death eater's arms*  
  
Voldemort: I forgot all about my phobia!!  
Death eater meows.  
Voldemort screams a high-pitched-litte girl- scream.  
Voldemort: Now you will pay!! *turns death eater into a couch*  
Voldemort: back to business.  
Voldemort sits down, crosses his legs as he sips the tea Wormtail brings to him with his pinky out.  
  
Voldemort: After my tea, we will apparate into Dr. Evil's hollowed out secret volcano lair. Any questions?  
  
*silence*  
  
Voldemort: Good. He sips his tea and swings his leg back and forth.  
  
Death eaters wait patiently as Voldemort proceeds to sip his tea.   
Death eater tried to rush Voldemort. Voldemort, annoyed with the Death eaters today, performs the Imperious Curse and makes Death Eater perform Oops! I did it again!  
  
Voldemort: What is with you people? Its all rush rush rush. At least now I can have a performance with my tea.  
  
Although horrified at the site, death eaters laugh hysterically.   
  
Voldemort finishes his tea & death eater finishes his performance.  
  
Voldemort: Now! *claps hands twice* To Dr. Evil!!  
  
Voldemort & death eaters apparate into Dr. Evil's hideout.   
  
~Just the two of us playing - Dr. Evil & mini-me performing~  
  
DR. Evil: Who is this? Throw me a frickin bone here people!  
  
Voldemort: I am Lord Voldemort! Bow down before me!  
  
Dr. Evil: Riiiggghhhhtttt  
  
Voldemort notices Mini-Me  
Voldemort: What is that?  
  
Dr. Evil: I call him.... Mini-Me.  
  
Death eaters: *gasps* Its a MINI_ME!!!  
  
Voldemort: *to malfoy* He has a mini-me!!! I want a mini-me!! *stamps foot* I'm an evil genius too you know!! Get me a mini-me NOW!!!  
  
Malfoy thinks on how he can create a mini-me.  
  
Voldemort: Now, there is only room for one evil genius! You must be-  
  
Dr. Evil: Alright zip it!  
  
Voldemort: You-  
Dr. Evil: ZIP!  
Voldemort: But-  
Dr. Evil: Zip!  
Voldemort: do you know-  
Dr. Evil: Yes I know you should ZIP IT!!  
  
Death eater: I think you should zip it.   
Voldemort: You zip this! *makes death eater hop around the room like a kangaroo* God! these Death eaters today! They don't keep their comments to themselves!  
  
Dr. Evil: I know good help is so hard to find. Mini-me! Mini-me! *whispers something to mini-me. MIni-me leaves*  
  
Voldemort: What did you tell him?  
  
Dr. Evil: Oh.. Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.   
  
Voldemort: Oh. OK. Back to business.  
  
Dr. Evil: What is it that you want? Do you want... *put pinky up to his mouth, dramtic music* One Billion Dollars? Mwaaaaa hahaha!!!!  
  
Voldemort: Um... no.  
  
Dr. Evil: Then what do you want?  
  
Voldemort: Well, besides a mini-me and this absolutley fabulous lair.... I want you dead.  
  
Dr. Evil: Ooohhhh... I'm shaking in my little space boots.   
  
Voldemort: *shoots evil look and raises wand* Avada Ked-  
  
Dr. Evil calls mini-me and mini-me attacks voldemort.  
  
Voldemort: Oh my God!!! Theres a mini-me on me!!! Get him off!!! Get Him off!!! *screams high-pitched*  
  
Dr. Evil lets Voldemort struggle with mini-me for awhile.  
  
Dr. Evil: Enough! Cue in the "special" guest.   
  
Frau: SEND IN THE SURPRISE!!!  
  
dumbledore comes in.  
  
Voldemort: Oh no!!! Not him!!! *screams & jumps into wormtail's arms* Hold me Wormtail! Hold me! I'm frightened. *sobs* I want my mommy!!  
  
Dr. Evil: Mwaaa hahaha!!  
after awhile of hearing Voldemort's screams & sobs, Dr. Evil senda away Dumbledore.  
  
Dr. Evil: Ok.... this is getting ri-goddamn-diculous.  
  
Voldemort looks up & looks around room.  
Voldemort: Is he really gone?  
  
Dr. Evil: For now, yes.  
  
Voldemort breathes a sigh of relief.  
  
Harry Potter walks in.  
  
Voldemort: *high pitched* Gaaahhh!!! What are you doing here?!?!? When will this cruelty end!!!  
  
Harry: Look is on of you going to defeat the other?  
  
Voldemort: Oh to hell with this. I should be out trying to destroy YOU.  
  
Harry: ohh right! BYE!  
  
Dr. EVil: I must defeat Austin Powers!!  
  
Voldemort: Lets call it a truce. Lets face it the world needs more evil genius. I'll handle things in England and you handle things in America.  
  
Dr. Evil: Cool.  
  
Voldemort turns to leave-points wand- Avada Kedavra!! Dr. Evil & lair blows up.   
  
Voldemort: Sucker. Two evil geniuses yea right! I am the only evil genius!! *shakes head* ahhhh people today. Oh damn. I blew up the lair! I wanted that lair!! Wormtail!! Malfoy!! Create me that exact same lair!!  
  
Malfoy: What about your mini-me?  
  
Voldemort: That too.  
  
~The End~  
  
a/n: this was my very first fic and i wrote it late at night on the spur of the moment so if you are as hyper as me when i wrote this you might find it funny.   



End file.
